How do I protect myself from go, go, going?
Colleen,
How do I protect myself from go go going? How can I stop and slow down and not feel guilty? Everyone around me is like hustling and I just don’t want to!
-I’m so tired!
Hi ‘Tired’-
Stop, drop, and roll. That will slow you down. But seriously- STOP. This is a topic I continually chat about with my therapist. With so many societal norms, it’s changeling to prioritize what we need. We live in a society where hustling, being busy, and grinding is normal and celebrated. This starts from the early ages in school and getting assigned a class rank. Or graduating with honors. Or exceeding in your work performance to make that year-end bonus. Why is giving what is needed not enough? Why must we always go above and beyond?
Let me tell you. You are doing enough, and you are enough. You need to start letting go of perceptions. It’s entirely acceptable to want to live your life at a different pace. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve prioritized my peace - and let me tell you I’ve turned into a grandmother. But I’m much happier. I don’t follow timelines, I don’t compare my journey to someone else's, and most importantly, I’ve learned to slow down. We are all human and struggle with feeling like we aren’t doing enough.
It’s easy to believe everyone enjoys hustling and working all the time because that’s what we are programmed to think. People love talking about how busy they are, what social events they have planned, and posting on Instagram - it’s always the topic of conversation. I do it myself - asking my team members, “what are your plans for the weekend?” Trust me- there are others like you, myself included, who don’t want to live a fast-paced life, don't want to be the next CEO, enjoy being a team player, and the list of analogies goes on. When you feel like you aren’t doing enough, feel it and let it go. It’s a feeling, not the truth. Remind yourself that you get to choose the life you want to live. Keep your eyes on your path.
You might be someone who isn’t very good at slowing down or taking time for yourself. So you will have to prioritize it and make it a part of your routine. As bizarre as this may sound- you need to schedule self-care and put it on the calendar. Self-care isn’t a chore and should be enjoyable, but if you aren’t used to it or it’s not a part of your daily routine, it’s bound to slip through the cracks. Here are things I did to protect my peace and time:
-keeping one day of the weekend open
-saying ‘no’ more often to invites & events
- stopped explaining myself to others
-blocking time on my calendar for therapy, working out, sleep & hobbies
-doing things alone
-writing more
It will take time but eventually you’ll find what works best for you. Give yourself grace throughout this process because you are changing your mindset. It took me a while to let go of those habits that weren’t serving me and to stop comparing myself to others. But once I started prioritizing building a lifestyle that protected my peace, I became happier. People will always compare themselves to each other, it’s natural. Stay strong in living the life you want, and all the rest is noise.
You got this!
Colleen
